FORT WALTON BEACH — Patrick O’Neill can remember when he drove himself to school, spoke articulately and walked without help.
Those days are long gone.
O’Neill was hit by a drunken driver in 1972. Since then he has lived with a brain injury that has affected his life and his family’s.
Traumatic brain injuries know no bounds. They can occur from vehicle accidents, falls and strokes.
There also is a local support group to help the victims and those who care for them.
“With these types of injuries there’s a real need for socialization and support from people who understand,” said Martha Bayer, the volunteer facilitator for Brain Injury Connection. “These survivors have new personalities and abilities, and understanding that can be difficult. With these injuries the survivors remember what life used to be like.
“All of a sudden their life and your life is not what it was yesterday.”
The group meets every Wednesday morning at Trinity United Methodist Church on Racetrack Road in Fort Walton Beach.
Each week, the small room is filled with members who greet each other with hugs, encouraging words and waves from across the room.
Before the meeting, Bayer writes the agenda on the board and the first people who arrive put a table cloth over the table everyone sits around.
Some members walk in on their own, while others need a walker or help from caregiver. But no matter how they arrive, there are smiles and no strangers.
The group starts with the Pledge of Allegiance. Those who are able stand and face the flag. Next, each person shares one good thing that had happened since the last meeting.
Jim Castlebury tells the group he attended a Bible study he enjoyed. Tammy Zettlemoyer had a good lunch at Denny’s with her mother. Dave Mulvahill worked on his lawn.
“This group lets me know that I’m not alone. Sometimes even small things like taking initiative or planning is hard,” said Mulvahill, who suffered a stroke years ago. “Unless you’ve walked down this road you don’t know how precious life is, and in an instant it can be gone, taken in a moment.”
Castlebury, who fell seven stories at work, agreed.
“We can share similar experiences,” he said. “It means a lot that you can talk to someone who understands your situation.”
Bayer started the group 18 years ago after her son suffered a brain injury in a ski accident.
The weekly meetings can last from two to four hours. No words of anger or judgment are spoken. Everyone is normal. They are patient with those who can’t speak quickly and are encouraging whenever a member speaks, even if it’s just someone saying they are happy to be there.
The meetings usually end with members eating lunch together.
“Everyone has a different story, but they are all dealing with something similar,” Bayer said. “What we do is look at what’s left, what we can work with and develop a quality life now.
“We take each other as is and become a family.”
CHECK IT OUT
For more information about Brain Injury Connection, call 244-1310 or email mcbayer711@aol.com.
Contact Daily News Staff Writer Angel McCurdy at 850-315-4432 or amccurdy@nwfdailynews.com. Follow her on Twitter @AngelMnwfdn.